looking back to now

what will i remember about my firstborn baby twenty years from now?

just one month now, and already my little beauty has changed.
her little body is stretching out her newborn sleepers,
and she is holding up her head to see the world beyond my shoulder.
her cheeks are noticeably chubbier,
her cries have grown stronger, and some of her first hats no longer fit.
her eyelashes are darker and longer, and i find her more beautiful with each passing day.

will i remember when my baby was so small she fit easily on scott's arm?
will i remember her soft, round head and golden hair?
will i remember those first squeaks that first night in the hospital?
will i remember her dainty fingers and toes or that her first diapers barely stayed on her lean body?
will i remember her coos, smiles and wide, blue eyes looking into my soul?
will i remember being surprised at the sharpness of her fingernails
or that i cried when she was crying herself to sleep?
will i remember the tears i cried asking God for her? 
will i remember praying for her each night with my hand practically covering her little body?
will i remember her eager frustration when it was time to nurse or the sweet look of serenity when she was done?

barely seven pounds now i find it hard to imagine little aspen all grown up, but i know it will happen.
every parent i know says to savor these moments because too soon they will be a distant memory.

so as i hold her in my arms, or put her little feet into her cozy sleeper, or lift her from her crib,
i'm savoring.  every chance i get i kiss her sweet head and tell her how much we love her, and that Jesus loves her even more than we do.

i want the memories to root deep into my heart.
remember this, new mama.
remember.